Rule master, p.6
Rule Master, page 6
I could only pray that he’d let me go, and find someone who deserved him.
“How…how could you say that? This isn’t you, a ghrá”
My heart clenched.
Please stop calling me that.
I had to tell him about the papers, and then he would see the truth.
“Lex, before I left Italy, I signed—”
At that moment, Chrystal came in.
“Mr. Duncan. Ms. Castra. I’m sorry to disturb you, but we must prepare the cabin for landing.”
We nodded our agreement, and then Chrystal began readying for our arrival.
Lex released a frustrated breath. “This conversation isn’t over,” he said so only I could hear.
“Yes. It is,” I retorted, then leaned my head back and closed my eyes, effectively shutting him out for the remainder of the flight.
* * *
Twenty minutes later, the wheels of the plane touched down at Logan International Airport. Immediately, a surge of happy giddiness entered my body.
I was home. Back to my work, my friends, my life, my hus—no, not anymore. The thought caused me to look at Lex, who was now ignoring me in return for what I’d done to him during the landing.
If I didn’t say something, he would continue the silent treatment forever. He had the ability and stamina to wait as long as it took to make his point.
Cazzo! By shutting our conversation down, I’d reverted to the old Milla way of things.
How was he going to see I’d changed, if I kept reacting as I’ve always done?
Baby steps, Mil. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
The doors on the plane opened, and we gathered our things. We continued our silence until we stepped onto the tarmac.
I touched Lex’s sleeve. “I’m sorry.”
He didn’t look at me, but pulled his phone out. “For what exactly?”
“For shutting you out when I didn’t want to talk anymore.”
He shook his head and looked at me. “I’m not mad at you for that. I’m used to it by now.” He tucked his cell back in his pocket and cupped my cheek.
I nuzzled without thinking, and a tremor shook my body.
“You’re my wife. I feel lost at what to do for you. If we can’t talk to each other, how are we going to fix whatever is wrong with us?”
Because I’m what’s wrong with us.
“There’s nothing we can do to fix it. The kidnapping made it crystal clear.”
“Well, explain it to me because I don’t understand any of the crap you’re saying.”
I pushed his hand away and stepped back a little, trying to put some distance between us, but he grasped my upper arm.
“I’m saying we can’t be together. The old Milla only thought about herself. For the first time I’m putting you first. Please don’t make it harder on me than it is.”
“No.” His grip tightened. “I won’t make it easy. I know you want me.”
I shoved out of his hold. “Wanting you isn’t the issue. Doing the right thing is.”
“God. You’re so bloody frustrating. You keep talking in riddles. Give me a clear answer.”
My temper flared. “You want answers, you deaf donkey? I’m saying we are over. I can’t be your wife anymore. I can’t be your submissive. I can’t be anything to you.” I wrapped my arms around myself. “I’m broken, and the only way to fix myself is to not make the same mistakes again.”
“The hell we’re over,” he yelled.
“Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Duncan,” James said from behind us.
I cringed at the address. Merda, I’d just told Lex we were finished, and James had to call us that, when he’d never done it before.
I bet Arya put him up to it.
Lex and I glared at James. He seemed unfazed by us.
“I suggest you continue this discussion out of public view.” He gestured to his left, where a group of reporters stood, taking pictures and carrying large microphones.
I clenched my fists. I grew up with the paparazzi; I should have known better.
“Cazzo,” I exclaimed as I moved past Lex and walked toward the waiting car. I was supposed to stay calm, to talk to Lex rationally. This was not supposed to be the way it happened.
I slipped into the limo and waited for Lex to enter, but the door closed and then moments later, James slipped into the driver’s seat.
“Where’s Lex?”
“He took another car.”
Does this mean he accepted what I said?
I closed my eyes, letting the dread of what I’d set in motion hit me.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Forty minutes after leaving the airport and following a quick security search, I walked into my empty penthouse. Though my exhaustion from the trip and argument with Lex still lingered, a sense of relief washed over me the moment I crossed the apartment’s threshold.
“Home sweet home.” I sighed and scanned the room. I loved the eclectic style of my modern home with antique art scattered throughout the place. The smell of fresh flowers filled the foyer. A note sat under the vase sitting on the hallway table.
I’m so glad you’re home, mera behna. I missed you. I’ve restocked the place so you won’t have to survive on those yucky protein bars you love. Carmen also sent a case of your favorite Cabernet from her South African vineyard. Don’t drink it all in one night.
x Arya
My heart warmed. Those girls loved me. The three musketeers always looked out for each other.
I walked into the living room, and the memories of the many years I’d spent in this penthouse with Lex hit me. The way he’d touch me and the tender way he’d attend to every one of my needs, always placing my pleasure before his. I glanced at the tear on the edge of the leather made after purchasing the oversized sectional.
I laughed to myself. We’d christened every available surface of this place.
How Arya never figured it out still amazed me. She was supposed to be the smart one of the group. The number of times she’d called to discuss something or came over unannounced and Lex was sleeping or working in the office were too numerous to count.
A little pang of guilt needled me. I’d lied to her and told her my Dom was here and he wanted to keep his identity private. Well, maybe not a complete lie, since Lex was my Dom, but the other part was a bold-faced fabrication. If Lex had any choice, he’d have shouted our relationship from the rooftops.
He deserves better than me.
Stop that, Milla. You deserve better, too.
I shook the melancholy from my head and strolled to my bathroom. I hoped that a hot shower would wash the funk from the flight, the guilt from my argument with Lex, and the sadness of my circumstances away.
Fifteen minutes later, I stepped out of the shower and slipped on my robe. Without a glance in the vanity mirror, I picked up the wine I’d left on the counter to breathe and moved to the balcony adjoining my bedroom. Staring into the night, I watched all of Boston come to life. Busy cars and high-rises everywhere, and in the distance the harbor and all the ships.
Music thumped from one of the units below me, making me smile. Oh, the parties the residents threw.
Hell, the parties Arya and I had thrown were memorable. Although the sneaky girl always orchestrated the chaos over here, instead of at her place, across the hall. There won’t be any more of those. Especially not until the threat of Christof was gone.
No, I was using him as an excuse. The thought of Page Six capturing another picture of Lex throwing me over his shoulder after I decided to climb on a bar to dance held no appeal anymore.
As I told Lex, I wasn’t the same girl anymore, and I didn’t want to hear all the things my mother would call me when she learned about my escapades.
Shameful, slut, disgrace.
I closed my eyes against the names. Without thinking, I pulled out the phone in my robe pocket and dialed. Before I realized whom I’d called, Lex answered.
“Hello.”
“Um. Ciao.”
“What can I do for you, Milla? Do you need assistance with something at ArMil?” His curt tone made my lips tremble. He still hadn’t cooled off since we separated at the airport. “I just…just…I’m sorry I called.” I shouldn’t have dialed his number.
“Mil, it’s okay. Sto—”
I hung up.
Depending on him for my comfort was wrong to both of us.
Why am I doing this to myself? I have to let him go.
I slid to the floor of my balcony and cried.
* * *
James picked me up for my short drive to ArMil’s corporate offices around seven the next morning. A restless night and nightmares left me exhausted and a little bit on the grumpy side. Thankfully, my assistant, Rachel, sent a text informing me my favorite breakfast and coffee were waiting for me on my desk.
The gorgeous headquarters came into view, forty stories of steel and glass with clean lines and unique architecture. A grin touched my cheeks. The building belonged to Arya and me. Two girls from different worlds who created one of the top security software companies in the world.
See, Mamma, I didn’t need your stinking money to make a success of myself.
“Mrs. Duncan, Are you ready for the day?”
I cringed as I glanced up from the window to James’s refection in the rearview mirror.
He’d known me since the very weekend I’d married Lex. From the beginning, he used my formal name to address me, even when I told him to call me Milla. But until yesterday, he’d never called me by my married name.
“You’re doing that on purpose,” I stated.
“Doing what?” He feigned innocence, but the grumpy Russian wasn’t going to get away with it.
“Why are you calling me that now and didn’t before?”
“Because you need reminding. He isn’t the same without you.”
Guilt hit my gut.
“It’s complicated, James.”
“Take some advice from an old man. I was there the day you took your vows and saw the love between you. Even when I moved into my role of protecting Arya, I kept an eye on you. The love you shared hasn’t diminished. Don’t let it go so fast. What you think he deserves and what he truly deserves are two different things.”
I cringed. “I guess you heard our argument?”
“Don’t rush into anything.” He glanced at me as he pulled into the parking garage.
I sighed. “I’ll try not to.”
James grunted in response and then said, “Getting back to work will be good for you.”
“I couldn’t agree with you more. I tried to keep up with all the finances in Italy, but our Arya has signed us up for so many new projects that my calendar is packed for the next month and a half.”
James chuckled. “Bed rest has made her a little overzealous.”
“That’s an understatement. She thinks I’m Superwoman.”
“I have complete confidence in your ability to multitask.”
“Speaking of Arya. She’s like a daughter to you; why didn’t you tell her about Lex and me?”
“Because you’re both mine. Protecting my family is what I do and that also means keeping the secrets they want me to keep.”
“Oh.” Tears prickled the back of my eyes. “Thank you for always being there for me.”
“Pozhaluysta, Mrs. Duncan.”
The car pulled to a stop at the private elevators to my office.
“Please allow me to escort you to your office.”
“James, I can handle a little trip to my office. Remember, you’re the one who taught me to shoot a gun.”
He frowned, but remained silent, giving me that I am a Russian enforcer and could give two shits what you want look.
“Okay. Fine. Never too safe, right?”
Unaffected by my comment, he exited the car and opened my door.
My phone beeped, indicating a text.
I snuck out of the estate. Come see me in my office. Act casual and don’t let James know or he’ll tattle to Max.
Great, only two minutes in the building and Arya had already pulled me into another one of her schemes.
I stepped out into the garage and strolled to the private entrance. “James, I think I’ll be okay going into the elevator alone.”
He lifted a brow as if he suspected I was up to something. “I have strict instructions. Mr. Duncan informed me that you agreed to all of his terms, which include my accompanying you everywhere.”
I had agreed to Lex’s list, but what was going to happen to me here, in the headquarters of the largest security technology company in the world?
I sighed. “If I promise not to leave without calling you, will you give me some space? The elevator leads straight to my floor, and the impenetrable fort Arya created up there should keep me safe. Hell, I can’t even access the elevators without a retina scan and a thumbprint. I don’t believe there’s anything to worry about.”
James conceded. “As you wish, Mrs. Duncan.” The slight smile on his lips told me he was testing me.
The sneaky old man wanted to see how far he could push me. I may have changed in the past six months, but I still wasn’t a pushover.
I entered the elevator and responded to Arya’s text.
I’m going to kick your pregnant ass if Max blames me for this. Give me a few minutes to drop off my stuff and I’ll find you. I missed you so much.
I squealed a little inside at the thought of my best friend and me back together again. The doors opened, and a whiff of warm pastries greeted me. I loved Rachel so much. She deserved a raise.
Dropping my bag and purse on my desk, I picked up my coffee, gulped down half the mug, and refilled it with the giant thermos accompanying the cup.
Stacks of folders covered my desk, perfectly organized by level of priority. Thank goodness for my team. Even if I wasn’t at the office to handle the day-to-day tasks, I had a crew to keep everything running while I recuperated.
I took a last sip of my liquid fuel and glanced at my waiting pastries and yogurt then shook my head.
Pastries versus Arya, Pastries versus Arya. Hmmm. Arya wins.
Her phone call before the gala and all the drama afterward left me in need of some one-on-one time with my sister. However, there was so much work requiring my attention, I had only a few minutes for socializing. With any luck, I’d sneak in a quick visit before Max arrived to collect his errant wife.
Errant wife…I’m one to talk.
I walked toward Arya’s office and found Kerry, Arya’s assistant, waving me into the office.
“Hurry, Mil. Max is on his way and he’s furious.”
“Don’t tell me she has a tracker on him and knows his ETA?”
“You got it. Our girl genius wanted to keep tabs on her hubby so she could escape her luxurious prison.”
I shook my head. “Max just wants to keep her safe. I don’t think either of them is in a sane state of mind. At least until the twins arrive.”
“Speaking of keeping one safe. How are you dealing with James? I told Lex you wouldn’t go for it, but he just gave me that stare and walked out of the room.”
Oh, I was familiar with the stare, but the effect it had on me was on a different level.
“James is just doing his job. He loves both me and Arya like his daughters. For at least a little while, I won’t give him a hard time.”
Kerry gaped at me, as if my words made no sense.
I shook my head, and I walked toward Arya’s office door. “Is she in there?”
“No, she’s in the tech lab. She snuck in through the service elevator and then hid in case James or Lex saw her.”
I reached the vault room and worked my way through all the security doors. When I opened the last one, I found a very pregnant Arya sitting on a reclining sectional watching television.
“You can do this at home, woman.”
Arya’s eyes lit up, and she made her best attempt to sit up but failed. “Mil, stop laughing at me and help me get the fuck up so I can hug your stupid ass.”
I rushed to her and held her tight. “I missed you, bella. By the way, I thought you were working on your potty mouth. If your kids’ first words are ‘fuck’ or ‘shit,’ Aunt Elana is going to be pissed.”
“Whatever. Stop saying that or you’ll jinx me.” Arya scanned me, and I turned away from her scrutiny. She captured my face and ran a thumb under my eyes. I guessed the concealer hadn’t hidden the dark circles very well.
“You need to talk to him and fix whatever it is you fought about yesterday. I couldn’t get anything but one-word answers out of him when he brought me my croissants today.”
“It isn’t as simple as talking about it, Ari.”
“Don’t be stupid like me and wait until you have no other choice, and then spill everything.”
“I concur.” A whiskey-smooth voice spoke from the doorway.
Arya cringed and tried to hide behind me.
“Sorry, bella. You’re as big as a house and there’s no way to camouflage you.” I turned and hugged Max. “Hey, big brother, how’s life treating you?”
“Nice try, Mil, but sweet talk isn’t going to get her out of the crap she’s in.”
I shrugged and took a seat in the rolling chair near a computer console. “It was worth a try.”
Max strolled over to Arya, picked her up, and then sat down with her on the sofa. He pushed her back to reclining and took her feet in his hands. “You do realize that I’m not letting you out of my sight from now on?”
“Ohhh,” Arya moaned. “Right there. You have magic hands, babe.”
“Gag.” I pretended to stick my fingers in my mouth.
“You have nothing to say, Miss I Spent the Last Ten Years Having Foreplay in Public with My Secret Husband.”
“Well, about that…oh, look at the time.” I glanced at my watch. “I have to…”
“Stop right there. I want to hear all about it when you aren’t distracted. You’ll come spend the weekend at my place and we can discuss this over a bottle of wine that I cannot drink.”
“Bossy as ever. Max, are you sure you aren’t the submissive?”
“Fuck off, Milla.” Max and Arya bellowed in unison.
